[Britney]

I've gotten my order wrong for the last time, I swear. I will stick with my little coffee shop down the street from now on.

Anyone?

[havasu]

Just had this discussion with my daughter last night. She loves the place. She also says when she reloads her coffee card, she gets benefits such as soy milk for no added costs. I chuckled and told her...."So, you spend $60 a month and they give you free soy milk?" Who-hoo!

I hate the place, except for the chocolate covered coffee beans, when I need a quick fix. If I remember, I would rather give my chocolate covered bean order to Matius in Costa Rica.

[Last Knight]

I like some Starbucks roasts and buy the beans, otherwise I only patronize them for frosty coffee/tea flavored drinks... and even then, usually at the command of She Who Must Be Obeyed.

[bigmike787]

Starburnt is a last option for me, but a necessary one sometimes. I was on the road a lot over the last couple of months, so I didn't have a lot of time to roast. That meant I had to drink their craptacular coffee. I don't ever buy their beans.

[Austin]

I like it if I'm on the road and thew only other solution is a truck stop. They look at me like I'm insane if I order a triple espresso.

[Sleepy_Sentry]

They brew their coffee way too hot and I often find quality is inconsistent between stores. Not something I'd recommend but I like their iced frappucinos. I guess the sugar and milk hide the overextracted espresso.

[corkybstewart]

The only Charbucks product I buy is their Java Chip ice cream. That is some fine stuff but I never understood the appeal of their coffee. But then I'm an old guy, I like my coffee simple: black. No cappuccino, latte or any of the fluff for me, just give me a good cup of black coffee.

[havasu]

Unfortunately, if you ask that at Starbach's, you will need to know Venti, Grande, tall, or trenta, and please explain why the tall is a small?

[djl4570]

I gave up on Charbucks years ago. Thin watery espresso made from burned beans, clueless staff who wouldn't know a decent espresso if it bit them on the nose. Dark roasts with obviously burned beans. I took the last bag I bought bag back for a refund, they were patronizing but gave me a refund. I liked the green tea frappicinos but got tired of waiting for my drink only to find that someone had poached it. "Oh, you didn't get your drink?" "That would be why I'm asking."

A trip to Starbucks:
There's a twentyish-year-old girl with a shaved head, three earrings in her left ear, two in her right and a silver ball pierced through the middle of her tongue standing behind the counter:
Tongue Girl: Next in line, please.
Me: Hi.
Tongue Girl: Welcome to Starbucks. How may I help you?
Me: I'd like a cup of coffee, please.
Tongue Girl: What size, sir?
Me: I'll take a large, I guess.
Tongue Girl: We don't have a large, sir.
Me: Whatever. A medium is fine.
Tongue Girl: We don't have a medium, sir.
Me: Does your coffee come in a cup?
Tongue Girl: Yes sir. Would you like a tall, a grande or a venti?
Me: Vini, vidi, vici?
Tongue Girl: Tall, grande or venti?
Me: You're looking at me like I'm supposed to know what you're saying.
Tongue Girl: Here at Starbucks, a tall is a small.
Me: I do not want green eggs and ham.
Tongue Girl: The grande is our medium-sized drink. And the venti is our large, 20-ounce drink.
Me: So the tall -- which sounds big -- is actually small. The grande -- which sounds grand -- is bigger than the tall but not quite the biggest. And the venti, which doesn't sound tall or grand, is actually the tallest and grandest of them all. Do I have that right?
Tongue Girl: That's correct. Venti is our largest cup of coffee, sir.
Me: You have to admit this is a little confusing.
Tongue Girl: Not at all, sir. Tall, grande, venti.
Me: If I walked into McDonald's and asked for a grande cup of coffee, would they know what I was talking about?
Tongue Girl: No sir.
Me: Burger King?
Tongue Girl: No sir.
Me: Denny's?
Tongue Girl: No sir.
Me: Boston Market?
Tongue Girl: Do they serve coffee at Boston Market?
Me: I have no idea.
Tongue Girl: Tall, grande, venti. It's not that hard, sir.
Me: For a zillion years, a large cup of coffee has been called "a large cup of coffee." Why does it have to change now? Why is this the only place on earth where a large cup of coffee isn't called a large cup of coffee, but instead it's called a venti cup of coffee?
Tongue Girl: Because here at Starbucks, it's called a venti cup of coffee.
Me: I see. Well then, I'll have a venti cup of coffee.
Meanwhile a guy with a purple mowhawk and a nose ring is also standing behind the counter next to the girl with the shaved head, three earrings in her left ear, two in her right and a silver ball pierced through the middle of her tongue. he's helping people in the line next to me.
Mowhawk Guy: May i help the next person in line?
The girl in the line next to me steps up.
Girl: Yes, I'd like a nonfat decaf tall Macchiato, double shot of espresso, extra whip in a venti cup, please.
The mowhawk guy turns and shouts to the asian girl with the pierced eyelid who's running all the machinery.
Mowhawk Guy: I need a non-D Mach, espresso squared, twin whip in a venti!
Pierced-eyelid Asian Girl: coming up!
I turn to the girl in the line next to me.
Me: What did you order?
Girl: A nonfat decaf tall Macchiato, double shot of espresso, extra whip in a venti cup.
Me: I know. I mean, what is that?
Girl: It's a nonfat decaf tall Macchiato, double shot of espresso, extra whip in a venti cup.
I get the "you are so retarded" look.
Me: E pluribus unum?
Girl: What?
meanwhile.
Tongue Girl: So what kind of coffee would you like, sir?
Me: Oh, just a regular coffee is fine.
The tongue girl stares at me.
Me: There's no such thing as regular coffee at Starbucks, is there?
Tongue Girl: Well, what kind of coffee do you like?
Me: Hot.
Tongue Girl: Mild, smooth or bold?
Me: Yes.
Tongue Girl: Sir, here at Starbucks, we strive to offer an eclectic taste of coffees to our guests.
Me: I'm a guest?
Tongue Girl: Yes, sir.
Me: I know you don't want to hear this, but I just want a large cup of coffee.
Tongue Girl: Sir, all of our coffees are listed on the menu board behind me.
Me: I've never seen a coffee menu before. Is it like, appetizers: coffee. Main course: coffee. Dessert: coffee. Hey, try our special of the day: coffee.
Tongue Girl: Our menu features all of the coffee and specialty drink options we offer our guests.
Me: Guests like me.
Tongue Girl: Exactly. For example, we have a mild Colombia Narino Supreme, A Lightnote Blend, our Organic Shade Grown Mexico or Kona. Or, you could try one of our smooth flavors such as Arabian Mocha Java, Espresso Roast and Yukon Blend.
Me: I had no idea yukon make coffee in Alaska.
Tongue Girl: Excuse me?
Me: Nothing. I'm just amusing myself.
Tongue Girl: And our bold flavors are Gulf Coast Blend, Komodo Dragon Blend, Sumatra, Sulawesi and Ethiopia Sidamo.
Me: Do they make a decaf Ethiopian Skinny?
Tongue Girl: Excuse me?
Me: Nothing. I'm just amusing myself.
Tongue Girl: Also, our flavor of the day is Pumpkin Spice.
Me: No seeds?
Tongue Girl: No seeds.
Me: Is there a face carved out of the side of the cup?
Tongue Girl: No.
Meanwhile the asian girl with the pierced eyelid holds up a drink she just made.
Pierced-eyelid Asian Girl:
I have a nonfat decaf tall Macchiato, double shot of espresso, extra whip in a venti cup. The girl who was in line next to me: that's mine.
I turn to the girl.
Me: Enjoy your drink. And writ of habeus corpus.
She leaves without saying goodbye.
Meanwhile I turn to the old, normal looking guy in the line next to me.
Me: Is it me, or are the people in this place a little crazy?
Old Guy: uh huh.
The mowhawk guy behind the counter speaks. May I help the next person in line, please?
The old, normal looking guy in the line next to me steps up.
Old Guy: Yes, I'll take a short non-fat Caffe Latte with no foam and a shot of Hazelnut.
The mowhawk guy shouts to the asian girl with the pierced eyelid. I need a short no fat/foam latte with a nut!
Pierced-eyelid Asian Girl: Coming up.
I turn to the old guy.
Me: You're one of them, aren't you?
The old guy looks straight ahead.

[havasu]

That is so funny, but I believe every word written.